Spiritual Formation: Philippians 4 - Dealing with Conflict

In this insightful episode of the Healing the City Podcast, Pastor Eric explores the nuanced art of engaging with others during challenging circumstances, drawing inspiration from the profound wisdom found in the epistle to the Philippians Chapter 4. Viewing this topic through the lens of spiritual formation, Pastor Eric emphasizes the utmost significance of fostering virtues like active listening and empathy.  At a time when society is riddled with divisive conflict and unwavering disagreements, this podcast delivers practical guidance and valuable insight for nurturing community.

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The Healing The City Podcast is a Ministry of the Village Church in Tucson, Arizona. If you enjoy the Healing the City podcast and wish to support it financially, you can go to villagers online.com, click the We give tab and follow the instructions. Thank you for listening and enjoy the podcast. Welcome to Healing the City Podcast. My name is Eric Sippin, and I'm pastor at the Village Church in Tucson. And this is our podcast Today, I thought I'd take a little bit of time and reflect on Philippians chapter four, the first nine verses or so. This is a section of, um, scripture that our pilgrim group and what a pilgrim group is, is a group of men or a group of women, um, who gather together to study scripture, to pray for one another and to use a few disciplined processes, uh, that we have developed here at the village. One being Trinitarian Prayer, which is listening to the Holy Spirit with one another. And then the other is what we call the table decision, or it's earlier name, the hot seat, which is a process to help you work through some of your negative emotions and see how the gospel applies to the belief systems that you have developed over time that are exacerbating things in your life. And so we kind of do that together every other week usually, or twice a month depending on what group you're in. And this week or two weeks ago, I believe we went over Philippians four, one through nine. Not an unfamiliar passage to me, and maybe many of you, but one that I felt like God was asking me to just meditate on more and think through in my devotional life. And so I have been doing that, and so have I, I'd offer you a few little thoughts from that, uh, maybe to center you for the day or for the week. Um, and so I'm gonna do that. I'll be reading from the NIV v I'll read the whole passage to you, and then we'll kind of just look at it a little bit. So, I mean, I'll read the first nine verses anyway, starting in chapter four, verse one. Therefore, my brothers, you whom I love and long for my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord. Dear, dear friends, I plead with you Ludia, and I plead with CIA to agree with each other in the Lord. Yes, I ask you, loyal yoke fellow help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of the fellow workers whose names are in the book of life. Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, rejoice, let your gentleness be evident to all the Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with Thanksgiving, present your request to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your mind, and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me, put it into practice and the God of peace will be with you. Now, there's a lot going on, and you could probably preach four or five sermons or spend a lifetime just on these, uh, nine verses. So I just wanna start with the first verse which says, therefore my brothers, you whom I love and long for my joy in my crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord to your friends. And so the first verse is referring back to something he said in chapter three. And a lot of it has to do with, are you going to live as a citizen of heaven or are you gonna live as a citizen of the earth or of darkness, so to speak? And he's inviting them to stand firm in their citizenship and to stand firm in their, um, heavenly citizenship. And this is important when you're speaking to a place like Phillip High, where Roman citizenship is a pride thing, and it's a thing that they take a lot of, um, feel very, very, uh, proud of the way they have our Roman citizens. And so he's, he's contrasting that for them a little bit and inviting them to, to really see themselves as heavenly citizens. But I like a couple things that he says here that are really important. Um, I think for me personally as a pastor, um, to express more, and, and I like the way Paul expresses it, but yon, he longs for them and he loves them. So he's apart from them, obviously. And he is writing a letter and, and he is talking about what he experiences internally. And this, this is important as we reflect on our relationships. Um, it'll be reflect on relationships that are, have distance to them. But as we reflect on the relationships with people that we deeply care for, is um, that we are called to long and to love. We're called to nurture a connectedness to people. And I like what he, he goes on to say that they are his joy and his crown. Um, they're the thing he's proud of them, that who they are, the way they live, how they are a church together, he's, it excites him, but he also sees them as something that is, um, evidence that God used him in their space and that they're his, in a sense that he's their spiritual father. He's their pastor. He's their over shepherd. He's, he's the one who through the spirit, launched those things forward, um, in their lives. And as I reflect on the village, and I've been a pastor at the village for now almost over 20 years, these things ring true for me. Uh, when, when something is your, when people who you care about and have cared about for a very long time, and you have invested your life in, and then they've invested their life in you, they become your joy. The thing that gives you a deep sense of, of, of contentment and peace and excitement, they're, they're the thing that that represents you. They're the, they're the one that says, look like the spirit of God through you to us has begun to work. And so you end up really, uh, feeling and experiencing the thing, their joys and their, um, difficulties. When things aren't going well, then you are in agony. When things are going well, then you in excitement, you have hopes, you have dreams. You, you really want to see God's character and the fruit of the spirit developed in them. And you want, and, and you wanna fight for that, um, and you, and you fight for it because you possess it in a sense. They're your people. Um, and you want your people to know Jesus in a deep way. And so that's what he's saying. He's like, I love you. I long for you, and I want you to own your citizenship in the kingdom of God. Own it, own your citizenship. And I think this is important as a preface to what he has to say next, because he begins to plead, and I, you know, with Udia, and he pleads with sin taichi, which I I never can say her name correctly, he's pleading with these two women to agree with each other and that agree like to, to be in harmony. The the word has a sense of harmony, right? To not be discordant, but he wants them to have a pleasantness in the way that they interact. Where, you know, when you listen to beautiful harmonies, um, if you're at the village and you get to hear Keith singing Harmony or Mark Crawford singing Harmony or, um, Karen or Susan or, or many others, but the harmony builds the, the, the, the melody. It, it, it creates such a, an intensity and a just a, an awe when you hear really good harmonies. And what he's inviting these two women is to not be discordant, but to actually in the way that they relate in the world to be harmonious. Now, if you know anything about first century, um, kind of history, then you know that in most of the Roman world, um, women were actually pretty invisible and weren't allowed into the interactions of men much. Um, they were subject to men's will. But in Philippi, there was actually a lot more freedom for women, and women were a bit more independent. Um, and you kind of get that sense just even in Paul's ministry in Philippi. Uh, and you, you should go read that in acts to kind of get an idea. But, uh, most likely these are two prominent women. Maybe they had churches in their homes. Uh, the text tells us that they contended, meaning they were with Paul, they contended with Paul, they taught with Paul, they preached with Paul, they did ministry with Paul. Um, and he's, and now there's some discordance there as they are now living life out together. And you know how we irritate one another. So there's, there's some kind of irritation. And when people who are prominent, people who lead people, people who care for people when they're in, in conflict or they're in disagreement, that's, that's difficult for everybody. Um, and so he is asking for them to live in harmony. Um, and then he's speaking to a particular person or maybe the whole church, but he says, yes. And I ask you loyal yoke fellow, um, or there's other translations that even move more towards an intimacy between whoever he's talking about, um, this yolk fellow word. Uh, but it says to help these women who contended at his side, and that word help is, uh, like to take captive. So he's asking the people who are leading, asking the church in a sense, to take captive these two women. So this is not a, um, light, like, oh, we should help them. Maybe we should talk to them. This is a, like, no, we need to get their attention and we need to take them captive in a sense and say, look, this what's happening here, the discordance is not just difficult for the two of you. It's causing a rift in the whole community. And so we, we are appealing to you. We went, your attention put on you two becoming more harmonious because it's a disruption to the gospel. And he's asking either a particular person who's close to them or the whole community in which the letter is being read to, um, to, to deal with these two women and to engage them and to try to bring them into harmony with one another. And he, and he asks, um, that Clement be part of that. Now, what I love about this little section and what kind of hit me as we were studying it in Pgan group is this is how you go about dealing with conflict, right? And, and life is built in, in, uh, because we're broken people and we we're sinful beings and we're selfish, and, and there's a lot going on with us. And if we're called to something greater and we end up kind of bumping up against each other and causing discord, then this passage actually helps us figure out how that we might take others captive and encourage them to be disc to be harmonious and not discordant. Um, and so the way to do that is he starts and he kinda lays out the process in a way, and I think he's laying out what you might be encouraging other people to who aren't in conflict with one another to do, but also how you enter into conflict. So just listen to what he says. He says, rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, rejoice, let your gentleness be evident to all the Lord is near. So the, the stance that you and I are called to the standing firm, in fact, is this idea of rejoicing. And he says it twice, and this is a theme in Philippians. He uses rejoice over and over again. But the way that we can have harmony is to be people who are rejoicing. Well, what is the one thing we have to rejoice about? Well, Jesus's life, death and resurrection and the spirit of God in us transforming us. That's where our joy comes from. It's not that the world is working out the way we want it, or our life is great, or everything is all good, but that we know that the God who created all things, the God who came and became a man and died on the crossing roses from the dead, is active in us because his spirit is with us and is regenerating us and has regenerated us and has given us this freedom to be in the throne room of God, to proclaim who he is and to pour out our hearts. And so this is where our joy comes from. Our joy comes from this unity to Christ, this engagement. So we don't rejoice in something else. We rejoice in the Lord always. And he says, say it again. And then when you enter into conflict, when you enter a relationship, how are you let your gentleness be evident to all? Why again, why are we rejoicing? Because the Lord is near, he's there. This kind of is a little bit of a, an illusion to Jesus. And Mark saying, you know, repent because the kingdom of God is near well, who's the kingdom of God? Well, he's the kingdom of God. If God's present, there's the kingdom. Um, conflict makes us anxious, right? Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, a prayer and petition with Thanksgiving, present your request to God. I now, this can be applied to a lot of different places, but if I love how this is connected to an invitation for people to enter into difficult relationship. And when you enter into difficult relationship and try to help bring peace and healing, there's an anxiety that's produced. As a pastor, I step into lots of difficult and uncomfortable spaces with people. And I can guarantee you there is an anxiety present, right? An anxiety, not a, like an anxiety necessarily that's nurtured, an anxiety that is, um, it's an anxiety that just chemically happens because everybody's nervous system is a mess. And so there's an acknowledgement that everybody's nervous system is a mess. And so he says, don't be anxious about anything. So it's, he's not saying, don't have a nervous system response. He's saying, do not nurture a nervous system response. Do not let your emotion be the thing that defines reality, right? Acknowledge that you have those emotions, accept them, and then have a plan of action. And here's his plan of action. But in everything by prayer, right, by in conversation with God, by and petition requests and thanksgiving, thanksgiving is simply a proclaiming of the goodness of God. So begin a conversation with God. Make sure you're completely clear about what you want him to do, and then proclaim the goodness of him and present and present your request to God, right? So submit all of this, the people in conflict with you or others, the anxiety that's produced by that. Submit it all to God. Ask him for what you want. Proclaim the goodness of God. And what will happen, verse seven, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. And so I wanna stop there because sometimes people don't realize how powerful and amazing the scriptures are in dealing with our biology, our neurobiology, our our, our internal parts who will guard our heart, the place where we imagine anxiety is produced, where our unsettledness seems to happen. Jesus will guard our hearts, who will guard our minds. Jesus will guard our minds, right? But this, this idea of Christ guarding our hearts and minds is then a link back to the famous passage of Philippians, too in Philippians, and which is chapter two, where it says, have a mind like Christ, right? Who in very nature was God that can did not consider equality, but God, something to be grasped. And it gra and it talks about how Jesus became a servant to all. And so there's this invitation,<laugh>, to have the servant of all God himself guard your mind and heart. That's a so in a sense, when you're an anxious, the plan of action is to submit your heart, submit your mind, submit your requests, lay it all in front of Jesus, and know, cause he says it here, he'll guard you and protect you as you step into difficult situations in your own life or as you begin to appeal to others to be harmonious. And then Paul says, finally, brothers. And he lays out a way of preparing your mind. So, so if you go back to, to, uh, verse, um, one where he says that you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends, and he's referring back to their citizenship and other things he said in chapter three, he lays out how you and I plant our feet firmly in preparation to invite others, take captive others and invite them to be harmonious and not discordant or even in our own relationships how to do that. Um, he says, finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think I like that word, think, meditate, focus on train your mind about such things. And so he gives us a foundation for what we should stand on. What should we stand on? Whatever's true, whatever's noble, whatever's right. It is, it is so easy for our minds to be distracted. And so what Paula's saying is, once you have engaged Jesus and you've asked for what you've needed and you've laid your anxieties before him and you've trusted that he's gonna guard your heart and mind, then the plan of action is the second part of your plan of action is to firmly plant the things that you think about on Christ. Because who is Christ? Christ is true. He's noble, he's right, he's pure, he's lovely, he's admirable. If anything is excellent, he's excellent. If or praiseworthy, he's praiseworthy. Think about such things. This is how you get yourself ready to help others be harmonious. And even in your own relationships that struggle to be harmonious, this is how you begin. This is how you orient yourself. And then Paul in verse nine, offers a little bit of what he says in many other, um, places like in Corinthians and other spaces. He says, whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me, put into practice and the God of peace will be with you. And so he kind of links back to, Hey, you guys are my joy. You're my crown. I'm the one who came and spoke and the spirit brought you alive. I'm the one that helps shape this church. You are my people. So because you're my people, I can invite you to think about the things that I have said, the things that you have learned from me, the things you've heard from me, the way you have seen me, invite others into harmony. Imitate me. And if you are willing to stand firm in Christ, and if you're willing to imitate, and if you're willing to lay at Jesus' feet, the anxieties and put these things into practice, what will happen And the God of peace will be with you. The beauty of peace, and, and I think this is just a good thing for a moment to talk about, is, uh, you know, and and you may hear preachers say this, well, peace you mean, you know, it's not the Greek meaning of absence of war. It's a, you know, if a, some we're talking about peace and scripture, it's, it's a whole body peace. And, and that's true. It's true. But we, we need to have a, a bit more, um, broad understanding of this. The place that you can look to, to see where peace is in scripture is in the garden before the fall. When someone, when when you have the peace of Christ, you have the peace of the garden of Eden. That's what you're asking when you say peace to you're like, you're saying garden life before the fall where man and woman walked with God in the cool of the night and there was no need for peace because it was peace, right? There's no need to say and peace will be with you because peace was already there. It was the very descriptor of peace. So when you say peace, or you have God's peace, you're talking about garden peace. You're talking about intimacy and relationship with God. So what he is saying is not everything will get fixed, but if you are willing to walk in this way, what you're inviting other people into and how you're gonna help them be harmonious and you to have harmony, is that you're gonna have the intimacy of God with you. And when you have the intimacy of God with you, you have peace. You will taste deeply of the garden of Eden through Jesus. Because there's no barrier, right? There's no barrier to God because of what Christ has done through his death and resurrection. So my invitation really here is for you to, to begin to process how you might be being invited into others' lives, to, and, and to really take this word help a little bit more seriously. Cuz when Paul is saying, you need to help these two women, he's not saying, ah, maybe you should suggest a few things. There's this sense of, hey, you two I, or hey you, I need you to sit down with me and we need to talk about this. And let me implore you to be harmonious. Let's, let me help you understand the impact you're having on the larger community and really point people towards Jesus and towards the harmony that he can bring and how he can can take their anxieties. But this is also true for you. As you wrestle with your own conflicts and your own kind of emotional dysregulation, you, you have to remember, um, that your emotions are not reality. So if you're angry at your husband because he did X, Y, or Z or he was hurtful, like it's not reality, like you don't, there are, you don't get to take your anger and then and use it to, to, uh, hurt someone or, or, or continue the disharmony, the discord. So with with that said, I, I just offer you Philippians chapter four verses one through nine as a, a way of, um, kind of thinking through how you might help others step into harmony and help yourself step into harmony with one another and with Jesus. So thank you, um, for listening. And if you've got other questions about anything basically at healing the city, uh, you can email us at healing the city gmail.com. If there's anything you'd like me just to sit down and try to unpack for you, I would be happy to do that or give it a shot. So thank you for listening and God bless, you've been listening to Healing the City Podcast with Susan Seman and Eric Seman. You can follow us on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.